As a longtime practitioner of yoga and a person who’s been involved in physical fitness my whole life, I can tell you, yoga helps you achieve altered states of consciousness. It is not just stretching. The only way you can say that it’s stretching is if you haven’t done it, or that you haven’t done it rigorously for a long period of time.
The planet’s spinning a thousand miles an hour around this gigantic nuclear explosion while these people roll these machines with rubber tires over this hard surface that we’ve laid down over the planet so that we can easily move ourselves back and forth.
Faith itself is a horrible mechanism that stunts the growth of ideas. It also stunts the act of questioning, and it does this by pushing the idea that you have to have faith – and that nothing has to be proven.
I think that one of the reasons why people look towards the end of humanity is that people are afraid to die alone. If you die alone, the people you love will miss you, or if they die, you miss them – the sorrow is inevitable. When you truly love someone, the thought of losing them forever is horrible.
I see martial arts as moving forms of meditation. When you’re sparring or drilling techniques, you can’t think of anything else.
I don’t care if you’re gay, black, Chinese, straight. That means nothing to me. It’s all an illusion.
You’re sort of programmed a certain way because of your environment. That’s all you know. But we don’t have that anymore because of the internet. Because of the internet we’re all communicating with each other all across the board, so you’re getting information from people all around the world, hitting a much more diverse slice of culture.
Comedy is really not like any other art form in that it’s very specialized and varied in it’s content, but generic in it’s title.
The two things I understand best are stand-up comedy and martial arts. And those things require an ultimate grasp of the truth. You have to be objective about your skills and abilities to compete in both.
Never stay in a bad marriage, and don’t hang around with psycho coke fiends.
That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
The only time I commit to conspiracy theories is when something way retarded happens. Like Lee Harvey Oswald acting alone.
If you can lie, you can act, and if you can lie to crazy girlfriends, you can act under pressure.
No matter how civilized we are and how much society has curbed violent behavior. Human beings still have the same genes they had 10,000 years ago. Our bodies are designed to have a certain amount of physical stress and violence in them. We’re designed to run from jaguars and fight to defend our territory.
Being a celebrity or anything else where you’re really ambitious, it’s really a game to see how successful you can get.
If you are the greatest, why would you go around talking about it?
Any comic like myself owes everything he has to Lenny Bruce. He was the originator. The godfather of uncensored American stand-up is clearly Lenny Bruce.
We’re constantly re-evaluating the potential for life. We’re finding it where we didn’t think it could exist, such as volcanic vents and other extreme conditions like under arctic ice. We’re finding life in these incredibly harsh and dynamic conditions, so we’re having to re-evaluate our own ideas of what’s possible on this planet alone.
Apartment living is tough action. Just the whole idea that you share a washer and dryer always freaked me out.
I’ve done jiujitsu a huge chunk of my life, and I try to spend a lot of time educating people on the nuances, the subtleness of the ground game. It’s a big part of mixed martial arts.
What’s interesting about science is that we’re constantly discovering new things about the universe, about ourselves, about our bodies, about diseases, about the possibilities of the future. It’s amazing. Science is one of the coolest things about being a human being – without a doubt.
Dick Gregory was a great comedian who went and got arrested, did hunger strikes, protests. It never hurt his career to be outspoken.
I had a great time on News Radio, I got to make tons of money in relative obscurity and learn a lot about the TV biz and work on my standup act constantly. It was a dream gig.
The Comedy Store in LA, it’s a really loose room and it’s really dark and creepy and a great place to explore your own thoughts onstage.
When someone comes along and expresses him or herself as freely as they think, people flock to it. They enjoy it.
Although not considered a martial art, boxing is really a martial art. It’s a very limited martial art as long as you agree to just box… but in an actual physical fight against someone who’s just a wrestler, you’re going to get killed.
Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD.
Have you ever talked to someone, and you’re not even really talking to them? Actors are the worst for that.
I talk so much about sex that girls just want to meet me.
Phil Hartman was brilliant, and Dave Foley is a really funny guy. Phil Hartman was actually even funnier offstage than he was onstage because he would say nasty things. Dave Foley’s very funny, very witty guy, very quick.