So you are out on your first date with a person you’re interested in. Nervous? Don’t be. First dates are often that getting-to-know-you period that doesn’t require a lot of commitment. It’s like a job interview except even if you totally crash and burn, you won’t be missing out on rent money. That being said, the first date is a delicate game of chess that needs to be played properly. One of the worst things that happen on a first date is completely running out of things to say. It is a very common fear for those new to dating and even those who are dab hands at the dating game. You might be the nervous, shyer sort or brim full of confidence, but either way, sometimes you just don’t click, or you both fancy each other too much and get really nervous. Sometimes for some inexplicable, horrifying reason, your mind goes completely blank and you can’t think of anything to say. Forget chemistry, what you ask and what you say can inevitably be the deciding factor in whether the relationship will make it to date number two. An easy, organic conversation is always best, but naturally, we’re all a little nervous on first dates, which either makes us shy and quiet or turns us into chatterboxes or interrogators. That’s why it is necessary to put some thought into what you are going to say so that the outcome is as you planned and it doesn’t end up being weird.
Here are 10 fun topics to talk about on the first date.
Ask them how their day was.
A simple question but it shows you are friendly and that you care. It’s an easy one for them to answer and breaks the ice. You get a glimpse into their day, their job responsibilities, how they deal with stress, their energy level, tone, and how they spend their time. Those small details and what they choose to focus on—whether good or bad—clue you in on their personality big time. This is the easiest way to start a conversation and things will flow smoothly from here. You can ask them about their work, whether they like it or not, what’s a typical day for them like and where do they want to reach in future. Find out what they are most passionate about, what they’d love to do, and whether they are working towards actually achieving it.
Ask them where they have traveled.
Travel stories make for a great conversation! You can talk about the places you’ve both visited, what you loved, and where you’d like to explore next. It is one of the most interesting and fun topics to talk about and you will thoroughly enjoy listening to each other’s travel memoirs. Are they a sun and beach worshiper or do they love something more active? Talk about your best and worst holidays and where you’d like to go in the future.
Ask them about the books and movies they like.
Are they much of a reader? If you love literature, talking about books is a great conversation topic. You might discover common interests and there is nothing better than sharing the love of reading. When someone loves the same book as you, it’s like a book recommending a person! Finding out what movies they love is also fun. If you like the same sort of thing you can suggest a future movie date together. Netflix and chill is the most romantic thing ever.
Ask them about the kind of music they like.
For people that know their music, this can be a particularly fruitful topic of conversation to bring up. You can talk about your favorite bands and artists, gigs you’ve been to, festivals attended, and so on. It gives you a good idea as to whether your tastes are compatible. Plus, ideas for future dates!
Ask them about their hobbies.
Finding out about their interests is so important. It shows that you are keen on getting to know them. Plus, they might have some pretty cool hobbies which could lead to all sorts of weird and wonderful conversations.
Ask them if they had only one wish, what would they want.
This is always an interesting question to ask. People give wildly different answers. Some want fame and fortune, others are more philanthropic and selfless. What are you and your date thinking? You can get to know them on a deeper level by asking this one simple question.
Ask them what makes them laugh out loud.
If things get bit awkward or serious, divert to a more carefree topic. Everyone loves to laugh, and talking about the things that make you both fall into a fit—cheesy pickup lines, dad jokes, a particular YouTube flick—gets the conversation flowing… and both of you laughing. Lots of laughter on a first date is a great sign.
Ask them about the best times of their life.
If you want the conversation to become a bit reflective, thoughtful, and meaningful, this is a great fall-back. Not only do you get to hear about their life story, but the snippet that’s most meaningful and important to them. Talk about what they loved to do as a kid. They will get a little reminiscent with this conversation starter. It’s playful. And who knows, maybe you went to the same camp or vacation spot each summer. It’s fun to see what you might have had in common as kids.
Ask them who the most influential person in their life is.
Instead of asking how close they are to their family, ask: ‘Who’s the most influential person in your life?’ This will tell you more about their family dynamics and the close relationships they have with friends.
Ask them what has been the most spontaneous thing they have done.
Are they a thrill-seeker or a free spirit? You’ll find out if they’ve been running with bulls or scaled a mountain. This is a great question to see how flexible they are. You can see if your personalities and interests jive, too.